Honouring Yourself During the Holidays

Written By Stephanie Azari, MC, RCC

The holiday season can stir up a wide range of feelings. When joyful images are everywhere, it can feel incredibly isolating if you’re experiencing anything other than holiday cheer. This can be an especially difficult time for anyone who is grieving, navigating mental health challenges, or dealing with complex family dynamics. The holidays alone can bring up a lot — and if you’re already struggling, the expectation to be joyful combined with added social, emotional, and financial pressure can create a perfect storm.

Why do the holidays feel so intense?

  • Expectations from culture, family, or our own inner critics about how we “should” feel or behave.

  • Changes in routine, which can destabilize grounding practices that normally keep us regulated.

  • Memories or old wounds that surface more easily during a time of year associated with family.

  • Financial, social and emotional pressure, like gift-giving expectations, increased social commitments, or feeling responsible for others’ comfort, can drain our energy and leave us feeling depleted or overwhelmed.

  • The contrast effect: when your internal experience doesn’t match the external narrative of joy, it can amplify shame or isolation.

Honouring what’s real for you

Something powerful happens when you give yourself permission to show up honestly with whatever is present. Maybe this year your holidays look like:

  • creating your own rituals

  • saying no to something that drains you

  • leaving early if you need to

  • choosing rest without guilt

  • setting boundaries with compassion

  • reaching out for connection when you feel lonely

  • letting yourself feel all the different feelings — joy and grief, connection and overwhelm

Reclaiming the season on your terms

I hope this holiday season you are able to honour and make space for your own needs in whatever way is possible for you. The holidays don’t have to look like what you see online, what you feel is expected, or what you grew up with. They can be quieter, slower, or more intentional. They can be a time of connection with the people who feel safe. They can be a time to nurture yourself after a long year. They can even be just another week. You get to decide what’s right for you.

Wishing you gentleness in this season,

Stephanie

Stephanie Azari, MC, RCC

I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor in BC with over 12 years of experience working in the mental health field. I hold a Master’s degree in Counselling and an Honours Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. I specialize in using Internal Family Systems (IFS) and somatic approaches to gently work with trauma (especially CPTSD), depression, and anxiety.

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