“Part of me wants to change… but another part feels stuck or scared”. Sound familiar? You're not alone. We all experience these kinds of inner conflicts. These internal tensions are exactly what the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model helps us to understand and heal.

IFS is a trauma-informed, compassion-based therapy model that’s grounded in a simple but profound idea: we all have many parts inside of us. These parts hold different emotions, needs, beliefs, and experiences, and they’ve often developed in response to what we’ve lived through, especially if we’ve experienced trauma or chronic stress.

You might notice a part of you that pushes you to achieve or stay busy, and another part that feels overwhelmed and just wants to shut down. A part that longs for connection, and another part that panics at the thought of being seen. IFS sees all of these parts as trying to protect us in some way, even when their strategies might no longer be working.

How can IFS help with complex trauma, anxiety and depression?

When we’ve lived through complex trauma (relational trauma from neglect, abuse, or chronic misattunement), we often end up with parts of ourselves that carry pain, fear, shame, or grief. Other parts might work overtime to keep that pain buried, helping us function or stay safe. While these protective parts are often incredibly resourceful, they can also leave us feeling anxious, shut down, disconnected, or self-critical.

IFS offers a path toward healing by helping us build a relationship with our parts from a place of curiosity and compassion. Instead of trying to *get rid* of anxiety or depression, we turn toward the parts of us that hold those feelings and begin to understand what they’re trying to communicate.

Over time, as we create more space for the parts of us that have been exiled, ignored, or shamed, we begin to experience more internal harmony. The intensity of our symptoms can lessen -- not because we’ve silenced them, but because they no longer have to scream to be heard.

At the heart of IFS is something called the Self

At our core, beneath all of our parts, is what IFS calls the Self: the part of us that isn’t a part. It’s the steady, compassionate, curious, and wise presence within all of us. The idea of a core Self or wise, compassionate presence within us has existed across cultures and spiritual traditions for thousands of years. In Buddhism, this is reflected in the concept of Buddha nature or non-attached awareness: a calm, centered state that’s always present beneath the noise of the mind. When IFS refers to the Self, it draws from these ancient understandings, offering a grounded, accessible way to reconnect with that inner wisdom in therapy.

Our parts aren’t the problem -- they just need to know they’re not alone anymore. When our parts can trust that Self is present, real healing becomes possible.

Whether you’re navigating complex trauma, anxiety, depression, or just feeling like you’re constantly at war with yourself, IFS can help you move toward more internal safety, connection, and ease. It’s not about fixing yourself. It's about coming home to yourself.