How To Find the Right Therapist For You
Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re already struggling. You might find yourself scrolling through endless “therapist near me” searches or reading profile after profile, wondering how to tell who’s actually the right fit. After a while, they all start to sound the same (yes, I’ve been there too!)
The truth is, therapy is deeply personal. The best fit for you might not be a great fit for your best friend. The connection you have with your therapist matters just as much as their training or approach. Finding the right fit can be a bit of trial and error, but it’s well worth it. You deserve to feel safe, understood, supported, and cared for, not just like another name in someone’s calendar.
Start with what matters most: The relationship
Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship (the trust, warmth, and safety you feel with your therapist) is one of the most important factors in healing. A famous study in 2001 found that the therapeutic relationship might account for up to 30% of therapeutic outcomes, whereas technique accounted for only 15%.
When you are meeting with a potential new therapist, pay attention to how you feel. Ask yourself:
Do I feel seen and understood by this person?
Do I feel like I can be honest, even about the hard or messy things?
Do I feel some sense of comfort, even if I’m nervous?
You don’t have to feel completely at ease right away (this is still meeting a brand new person in a very vulnerable state, after all), but you should feel a sense of possibility, like this might be someone you could build safety with over time. You know that feeling when you meet someone and you just click? Something about them just sets you at ease? That’s what you should be looking for.
Pay attention to their approach
There are many different approaches to therapy — some are more structured and goal-oriented, while others focus on emotions, patterns, and deeper self-understanding. Each has its own way of understanding what causes distress and how healing happens. (You can read more about some of the most popular therapy approaches here.)
Most therapists today integrate several approaches rather than sticking to just one. This allows them to tailor their work to what you need, rather than fitting you into a single model.
For example, some therapists might blend evidence-based tools for anxiety or depression with a more relational, insight-oriented style that helps you understand yourself on a deeper level. Others may bring in somatic (body-based) or mindfulness techniques to support nervous system regulation and connection with the body.
What matters most is that their approach makes sense to you, and that they’re open to explaining how they work. A good therapist won’t just apply a method to you; they’ll collaborate with you to find what feels most supportive.
Think about practical fit
Therapy works best when it actually fits into your life in a sustainable way. Consider:
Location: Is it important for you to see someone in person, or are you comfortable with online therapy? In-person therapy can be more connective, but online therapy opens up your options significantly.
Schedule: Does their availability fit your week?
Cost: Are they covered by your benefits plan? Do they offer sliding scale or pay-what-you-can sessions if finances are a barrier?
Sometimes these logistical details make all the difference in helping you actually start and stay consistent in therapy.
Take advantage of consult calls!
Most therapists offer a free 15 to 20-minute consult or “meet and greet” session. This is a great way to get a feel for how someone works and whether they are a good fit for you.
During the consult, you can ask about their approach, their experience, what therapy might look like with them, and any other questions you might have. But most importantly, notice how you feel ! Do you feel rushed or pressured? Do you feel like they’re genuinely interested in understanding you? Take a moment after the consult to check in with yourself. Trusting your gut here can make all the difference.
Looking for a therapist in Duncan, BC or online across Canada?
I offer trauma-informed therapy for adults, drawing from approaches that help you reconnect with yourself and move toward healing in a gentle, compassionate way. Whether you’re local to Duncan or elsewhere in Canada, online sessions make it possible to access support from the comfort of your own space. You can learn more about my approach here, or book a free consult using the button below.
